Bush in 2004, and updated with new material for a third edition in 2015-offers a view of hope that speaks directly to this time of crisis. Hope in the Dark by Rebecca Solnit-originally published shortly after the United States began its second war in Iraq, revised after the reelection of George W. Clearly, I am not without hope or something like it. And yet, in the midst of a mismanaged pandemic that is on course to claim hundreds of thousands of American lives, cripple the economy, and possibly even destroy much of our educational system, here I am in my late forties, starting graduate school for a second career. My problem with it is that hope inspires expectations for a future that doesn’t exist, potentially leading to magical thinking, or to disappointment and disillusionment, or to both. The personal crises of my twenties passed long ago, but I remain skeptical of hope.

Throughout most of my twenties, after my mother died, all I wanted was not to want anything at all, and I was furious that I could withhold all the crumbs in the world from that bird, and it would go on singing.

I, however, regard the “thing with feathers” as a terrifying demon. “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers - / that perches in the soul - / and sings the tune without the words - / and never stops - at all -” wrote Emily Dickinson in what has become one of her most famous poems, I suppose because of its apparent celebration of the indefatigability of hope.

Rebecca solnit's hope in the dark